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User blog:PerhapsTheOtherOne/Speculative Spitballing: Goliath
Hello once again, RWBY Wiki! You all probably don't remember me, PerhapsTheOtherOne. That is okay! Because...... (Scary Voice): YOU WILL. Anywho........ as you can tell from the cleverly unclever title, it's speculation time! But why the spitballing part, you ask? It's simple, really. Instead of the usual speculative topics like the future of characters or plot threads or whatever, I'm gonna be speculating on more mundane things. Now, Goliaths aren't mundane, that's for sure. I mean, come on, look at these guys! But we hardly know anything about them, and it doesn't look as though we will for quite some time. So, perfect time to speculatively spitball! Let's get started, shall we? For this topic, I'll go over different aspects of this variety of Grimm, ranging from their physical traits and stats, to combat speculation, etc. Then, at the end of it all, I will give a certification of my own making that will give them a rating of badassitude based on how I interpret them! 'Baseline' Goliaths are 20 stories tall (66.6 meters for my fellow Canadians) at the shoulder, which is Kaiju size a.k.a. standard issue giant monster size for you uncultured peasants who do not appreciate and/or know about giant monsters. They're also centuries old, which is pretty old. They've been around longer than yo mamma in bed (Brazingles). Ahem..... uhh...... oh yeah! They're also immune to the high-impact sniper rifle bullets from Crescent Rose, which means they're tough SOBs (Super Outstanding Behemoths), since firing such weaksauce stuff at them only serves to piss them off. Oh yeah, and they look like elephants, and elephants are cool. And last but certainly not least, they're intelligent. Centuries of experience has taught them to just not bother with humans because they know it'll only bring more of the little buggers to kill them. That's pretty damn cool, because they've learned to keep their instinctual desire to kill all things walking on two legs and spouting donkey doodie from their food-holes in check. And that concludes exactly all we know of these huge beasts. Now we get to the fun part, SPECULATION! Possible Combat Now, as Bartholomew Oobleck who is definitely not from a Dr. Seuss book so kindly put it, shooting at these things with dinky high-impact sniper rifle rounds will do jacksquat except get a very angry and very big thing after you. It's basically the same thing in real-life with actual elephants, only they don't have armor plating and an innate desire to kill all Titans. Wait, sorry, not Titans. Humans! I MEANT HUMANS! I'm gonna assume that, because they're structurally built like elephants, that they move and fight like elephants as well. In real-life, elephants fight using trunk bashes, tusk stabbing, stomping, and pushing things around with their weight. Simple enough, given their high intelligence, but hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, amirite? Anyways..... Elephants are pretty fast given their size, and know how to use their bodies to gain the advantage in a fight. They'll actively use their trunks to grab hold of weapons from decidely non-animal-like Humans and whatnot. Based on all of that, I deduce that, due to their increased size, Goliaths would use similar tactics, albeit using the trunks in combat more often given the small size of their targets. That is, if said targets could even do anything to them. All Grimm get bigger, stronger, and smarter with age. A single Goliath is big and strong enough to probably prove a nearly immovable object to Hunters, yet experienced enough to know that it needs to catch the nimble little targets in tight areas. If it gets a hold of an unfortunate Hunter in its trunk, that person is pretty much done for. Ditto for if they manage to step on them. Seeing as how in such cases, Hunters would likely be climbing their bodies like it was Monster Hunter, if there were any large rock outcroppings like mountains or cliffs, a Goliath would only have to rub their bodies up against such surfaces to wipe off the little insects biting it. That's not even factoring the fact that Goliaths travel in herds. If one's attacked, they all get up in the attackers' faces. And those attackers will promptly poop their undergarmets and proceed to run away like little girly girls. Or little...... boyly boys? I don't know, I'm bad at this. Verdict Goliaths are badass mofos of destruction. Fighting them is like fighting a herd of Godzillas if they were elephants. And one does not just fight a herd of Godzillas if they were elephants. My rating? A certified Macho Badass out of Badass! Stay tuned for the next installment of Speculative Spitballing, folks! Category:Blog posts